Posts by Periodic Bedlam

31

Any one else deal with this?

by Momofmany in

i was talking with my older two boys.

they were really glad we stopped going to the kh and being practicing jw.

they went on and told me about things they thought.

As a JW child I thought continually of Armageddon and who would survive it. I didn't want to be like one of those people dying in the Paradise Lost pictures. I used to wish that my grandmother (Catholic) would die before the "end" so that she would be resurrected. Death before armageddon was the only way for a non-witness to get into the new system.

I use to wish I could die too so that I could skip the torture that we as JWs would have to endure in the "great tribulation" because I was afraid of that (I had read lots of experiences of torture in the Yearbooks and magazines, plus heard all about the beatings and rapes in Malawai). But, I also wanted to get married and have kids when I grew up. Those who died and got resurrected would not be able to be married or have kids (WT interpretation--they would be like the "angels" as Jesus said). So, I resolved myself to torture at Armageddon but was secretly afraid that if I got that far and died in the torturing, I still would miss out on marriage and kids after all.

Then, there was a change in thought.....those who had the chance to become JWs and didn't and died just prior to Armageddon may not get resurrected at all. They had their chance and didn't take it so resurrection a few years later wouldn't make much difference in their attitude. I used to wonder how many years before Armageddon was the "cut off" for resurrection eligibility. I also used to thank Jehovah everyday because I was one of the fortunate (couldn't use the word "lucky") ones as my mom found "the truth" and I was not going to die soon like all the other kids in school.

No wonder I turned out to be a WT robot when I grew up.

34

You're going the thong way!

by tall penguin in

so a friend told me something recently that just blew my mind.

she was interrogated by some elders regarding her choice of underwear.

she was being questionned regarding her conduct with a man and apparently her choice of undergarments reflected the level of intent in her actions.

Periodic Bedlam

But I raise my glass to any woman who wears thongs or t-backs! Bless you all!

I say drop the underwear all together!

I had to endure my wife being ~~interrogated~~ lovingly helped by the the ~~voyeuristic pervs~~ elders in which they asked about things that even I hadn't inquired about...which positions...how often...how many people (manage a trois)...was she "enjoying" herself...did she use profanity while ~~f*cking~~ committing adultery.

u/d I really feel bad for your wife and others who have went through this kind of drilling. I experienced it as well. Those same kinds of detailed questions. You know how the elders on the committee take notes? They write down all the details. Well, those pieces of paper go into an envelope are put into a file regarding the judicial case. I only know this because when I had my committee, I asked one of the elders about it. I asked if that envelope with those notes was kept in the KH in the file cabinet in the elders room. He said it used to be that way but because of the possibility of theft, the records/files are kept at one of the elders houses. So, the "minutes" from my judicial meeting are somewhere out there in somebody's house. Also, if a person relocates, their file may be sent to the new KH. They did this in my case because I had my committee in one congregation, moved, and strangely enough, the elders in my new congregation knew the intimate details of my past.

21

Looking forward to Armageddon?

by Gill in

jw
friends

my eldest daughter (21) said something that stopped me in my tracks yesterday.

we were busy wrapping christmas presents (yes, we've started early this year) for her younger siblings.

then she started laughing and said: 'isn't it nice to have christmas, birthdays, easter, bonfire night, halloween etc to look forward to instead of only looking forward to armageddon!'.

Periodic Bedlam

The people who die before Armageddon have it made! They get to skip the entire event!

But as a trade-off for not being alive to witness the mass murder of billions, they won't be allowed to get married or have kids once they are resurrected in Paradise.

There's always a hitch.

21

An Update

by MM090503 in

jw
friends

some of you may remember me.

i started posting about a year ago around this time.

my bf is invovled with the jw's.

Periodic Bedlam

I know this sounds so crazy to everyone and I know I'll probably get warned against it, but it's what I want .... And after this summer being broken up, I know that I cannot live without him, he is my everything.

Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?"

39

Which aspect of JWs would you like to see a documentary about?

by Gadget in

jw
friends

if you had a chance to make a documentary about some aspect of the jws, what would ou choose?

would you talk about shunning, the blood issue, explain how its a cult, or what?

unfortunately this would only be for an 8 minute segment on a current affairs programme so i need something that'll get peoples attention and make them think without having to go too deep into the subject.. what would you choose to talk about?.

Periodic Bedlam

I think the pedophile issue would be a big attention grabber. However, this being an unpunished crime is not unique to JWs and has been reported on by the media with other religious organizations many times.

I think a better subject would be flip-flops in the WTS idea on rape and fornication.

http://www.freeminds.org/psych/rape.htm and http://quotes.watchtower.ca/rape_is_fornication.htm

I remember learning for the first time as a child that if I didn't scream if I was raped I could be disfellowshipped for fornication. It shocked me so much that I thought about it for weeks. If I woke up from a bad scary dream or thought I heard something in my room and was afraid, I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest and I could barely breathe let alone scream for my parents or anyone else. What if someone tried to rape me? If I couldn't scream when faced with common childhood "scary" situations, I would never be able to scream in a rape. What if he had his hand over my mouth and I couldn't scream? Would Jehovah understand that? What if he had a gun to my head and said he would kill me if I screamed? I used to think of those kinds of scenarios and how I would have to be faithful to Jehovah, try to scream, and get shot and killed so I wouldn't commit fornication. What terrible thoughts to have to deal with for a girl of 8 or 10 years old.

68

Reveal something "weird" or "unusual" about yourself

by JH in

jw
friends

whatever i drink from the fridge, i put it into the microwave for 10 seconds so that it won't be too cold to drink.. .

whenever i drink ice cold liquids, it irritates my tongue/mouth and often triggers a sore throat.

now you have additional proof that i'm weird .

Periodic Bedlam

I fell in the toilet when I was a year old. I've never been right since.

28

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

by avishai in

jw
friends

10 reasons why gay marriage is wrong.

01) being gay is not natural.

real americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.. .

Periodic Bedlam

i cant think of any good reasons, having 2 women in the house sounds pretty damn good. 2 to cook, 2 to do dishes and laundry, 2 to share clothes with...... 4 boobies.....dont sound bad at all lmao

would watch chick flicks with me without complaining

wouldn't get razor burn kissing another woman

the house would be blessedly void of loud belching and farting noises

would love chocolate as much as I do, and would never utter, "Do you think you've had enough?"

40

I have joined ex gay seminar

by joelbear in

jw
friends

yes, i'm tired of being gay, its time for me to be heterosexual.. among the seminars i have signed up for are:.

1. breasts are not that icky.. 2. how to keep things out of your butt.. 3. butchness starts with a hammer.. i will keep you up to date on my progress.. hey, check out that babe!

i wonder if she has a hot boyfriend.. oh darn, well, i'm not there yet.

Periodic Bedlam

joelbear, when RuPaul and "True Directions" doesn't work , just remember:

100 Reasons to be Gay

1. You truly don't care who Julia Roberts is sleeping with.
2. You understand the difference between 43 brands of imported vodka.
3. You can call anyone "honey" including pets.
4. You know someone who definitely was in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.
5. You understand the immense importance of good lighting.
6. You can be at a crowded disco the size of two football fields and still spot a toupee.
7. You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit, and truly mean her bathing suit.
8. You can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover.
9. You really have "been there, done that."
10. Your women friends will tell you everything you want to know about their boyfriends. And that means everything.
11. You're the only type of male who gets to say "fabulous."
12. You can have naked pictures of men you don't know in your home.
13. You can have naked men you don't know in your home.
14. You know how to handle the telephone like a Stradivarius.
15. You understand why the good Lord invented spandex.
16. You understand why the good Lord didn't intend everyone to wear it.
17. You know how to get back at just about everyone. And have.
18. You know that the most important part of a party's decor is the catering staff.
19. You only wear polyester when you mean to.
20. You can smile to let someone know you can't stand them.
21. You can freeze a troll from 20 feet away.
22. You're good pals with women other people can't stand.
23. You've always got an opinion.
24. You've read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.
25. You know how to dress strategically.
26. Your car has an amusing female name.
27. You're the only one at your high school reunion who looks a lot better than you did in high school.
28. You've got at least one framed picture of a pet.
29. If your mattress could talk, it would be Joan Rivers.
30. You know that sex complicates things. So?
31. You know that being called a "cheap slut" isn't actually an insult.
32. There's a married guy somewhere who is terrified of you.
33. Nobody tells you what to do in bed...unless you tell them what to tell you.
34. You have a medicine chest stocked for any occasion.
35. You have at least one movie musical on video.
36. You're not embarrassed to sing in a piano bar.
37. You're embarrassed by people who sing in piano bars.
38. You never hold a grudge for longer than a decade or two.
39. You know how to make an entrance.
40. You know when to make an exit.
41. You worry about people you don't even know - like Liza Minnelli.
42. You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.
43. You know how to program your VCR.
44. You've got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.
45. You have a cologne display worthy of Bloomingdales.
46. You understand, viscerally, Joan Crawford.
47. Some of your best friends are your ex lovers.
48. You know when to play dumb.
49. You know what to do for a hangover.
50. Yes, you do have a condom.
51. You've called someone "girlfriend" who is neither a girl nor a friend.
52. One or more of the following apply to you:
a) You adore Judy Garland
b) You hate Judy Garland
c) You hate people who adore Judy Garland.
d) You hate people who hate Judy Garland.
e) You don't give a damn about Judy Garland.
f) Who is Judy Garland?
53. You can supply the last names to the following list:
a) Bernadette
b) Chita
c) Barbra
54. You made Donna Summer a star.
55. You made Donna Summer a has-been.
56. Tanning salons were invented for you.
57. You've made sunbathing a performance art.
58. You know when the party's over.
59. You know where to go after the party's over.
60. You're fearless about fighting the elements, especially gravity.
61. When you hear "a stitch in time saves nine" you think of
a) Your grandma
b) Your face lift
c) John Wayne Bobbit
62. You know that pigs and bears are not necessarily rural wildlife.
63. Your roommate can be your roommate and not your "roommate."
64. You know that referring to someone as "a real lady" isn't necessarily a compliment.
65. Your favorite dinner accessory may also be your dinner companion.
66. If your cat is a female, you swear it's a lesbian.
67. If your cat is a male, you swear it's a lesbian.
68. You sing along heartily with songs that make most females cringe, like "Stand by your man".
69. You've been to a bris, a barmitzvah, a christening, a first communion and too many weddings and you have a carefully considered evaluation of the food after each.
70. You'll never have to hear your mother complain about your wife.
71. A two-seater convertible seems perfectly practical to you.
72. You have a favorite Disney character and it's usually a nasty one.
73. You've left someone totally speechless.
74. You've shaved something other than your face.
75. All your friends do not have to "get along".
76. You have large collection of anniversary pictures. They may be with different guys, however.
77. Your love handles are actually used as such.
78. When someone turns his back on you, you actually consider it an opportunity.
79. You've got a large assortment of movie-star biographies.
80. You've got the most interesting coffee table books.
81. You know where to find a meat rack and it ain't in your kitchen drawer.
82. You have a sexual persuasion with its own flag.
83. At some moment in your life you've envisioned having back-up girls.
84. You know your enemies.
85. After a workout at the gym, you feel like a new man. And he's right there in the shower.
86 You're Barbra Streisand's biggest fan.
87. You know that Barbra Streisand's biggest fan is Barbra Streisand.
88 Not only have you added spice to your life - sometimes you've added side dishes.
89. You know that "small talk" can be about spirituality or politics, and "important issues" can be about hair.
90. You've actually lived out some of your fantasies.
91. Unlike most straight women, you have no problem being treated solely as a sex object.
92. You have no doubts about the accuracy of the Kinsey Report.
93. You know, by heart, every line in:
a) All about Eve
b) The Rocky Horror Picture Show
c) Your face
94. You are ALWAYS ready for your close-up.
95. You have 412 ways to tell someone to get lost. 136 are non-verbal.
96. You can lip-sync to at least one Supreme's song.
97. You have a carefully selected Yiddish vocabulary.
98. Even if you're in Kansas, you're not in Kansas anymore.
99. You know exactly how many martinis it takes.
100. When throwing a party, you know how to put out quite a spread. Sometimes after the party too.

31

Embarrassing things that happened to you on the platform?

by Jordan in

jw
friends

i remember one of my last talks, it was a bible reading, i was 15, and on crutches.

i tripped getting up on the platform and took the mic stand with me.

that was embarrassing.

Periodic Bedlam

Once one of the sisters read a scripture during the Watchtower. It was Proverbs 5:11:

... nor you have to groan in your future when your flesh and your organism come to an end....

She didn't quite read it correctly. Dropped a couple of letters and a syllable in one word. She had no idea. I almost peed in my seat.

30

Jehovah's Witnesses Recruiting at colleges...

by TresHappy in

jw
friends

specifically ohio university.

how can you be against college and recruit new members there?

http://cscwww.cats.ohiou.edu/~jwitness/.

Periodic Bedlam

I have seen these JW "advertisement" tables set up at many airports in my travels. I also saw them at a college I was attending about 10 years ago.

What I would like to see is this:

Someone go up to the table with the latest Watchtower in hand saying, "I got this magazine when a JW came to my door the other day. I read the magazine and noticed that your religion warns against going to college. So, would this mean that if I joined the JW's I would have to quit college? And maybe I should show this magazine to those who run this college. Because you have permission to have this table here, but it seems that if you recruit students to your religion, then they will leave this college. So really, your being here is undermining the purpose of this establishment."

Would be interesting to watch their faces and hear their response.

Just a thought.